Provocative title, isn't it? Bet you are thinking this is going to be a sleazy post, well....unfortunately not. I've realised that people are actually pretty fascinated about the concept of CouchSurfing and I've received a mixed reactions from my previous posts. Expanding on it, I have compiled a series of benefits based on my (limited) experiences as a surfer.
First things first, let's get the terminology sorted out if you are not familiar with CouchSurfing.
Couches refers to the home of the host
Surfers are travellers who requests for a couch
Hosts are those that offers their home to travellers, preferably solo
I started using CouchSurfing a year ago in Bangkok, and that place and location was amazing even though I slept on a couch. Think sky gym, a mini infinity pool and a metro rail station right at the door. But that's not the point, I'm digressing.
Thought I should compile some of the interesting finds from my experiences and I'm still finding it surreal of all the things that I have gained from CouchSurfing.
1. Personalized local tours and spontaneous adventures (without using Google maps)
Admittedly, I'm not very good at organising my itinerary so it mostly ends up not having a clear sequence despite knowing where I want to go. I tend to overlook admission charges that applies to various places, hence it's definitely a bonus that you have someone to guide you the places that has free entry or give you the green light on casually sneaking in and maybe find some non-touristy places that locals, not tourists go to. Makes you feel badass as well. Having been based there for a while, they will be able to feed you history and fun facts about the place that is not found on Google.
At times, my host will be able to provide a spare bicycle and take me on car rides, so I get some experiences being on the road, which is pretty cool. You get to live like a local, even if it's just a couple of days. Besides, when someone knows where exactly to take you to, you don't have to fret over the nitty gritty, such as questioning if Google Maps pointing me in the shortest direction? or What should I have for lunch, there's too many choices. Chances are, they probably know what's there to offer. That works for me.
My host in Manchester, TIm and Ben also took me out to bouldering, a little out of Manchester city centre. Definitely something that I wasn't expecting to be doing while I am here. Does shivering counts as cardio, because I'll probably be owning some solid abs.
2. Earn your street creed. You get to go on dates/hang out with the locals
Since I have already gone through the 13 hours gruelling torture of flying across the continent, might as well make the most out of it.
On local experiences: Drinking culture, food culture, language, accents. It still amaze me sometimes to be observing their customs, like the Vikings festivals, the drinking games, college life and the way of life. I learn something new everyday through these first-hand experiences, it's amazing. British people do generally use phrases that are a little foreign to me, despite having a good grasp of the English language. I'm still picking up the local lingos and applying them in conversations.
On dating culture: In my previous post, I mentioned briefly about mutual attraction. Well, it inevitably becomes a date whether or not you deny it, since both of you gives each other the undivided attention. Again, depends on a case-by-case basis and context. Sometimes, I do receive some unexpected little sweet surprises as well, a rose maybe or a nice homemade candlelight dinner. It's not a bad thing or something that you should be ashamed of, and you get an insight about the dating culture in the different countries that you go to since you will probably touch on the subject. Go on adventures and have a time of your life, you'll find alot of things about one another. A little romantic gesture never fail.
On university life: Juxtaposing SIngapore and the UK, students are generally granted student loans here to be self-sufficient through their university education while in Singapore, unfortunately we are still depending on our parents. Note that I used University, not college. It's another system to behold over here and I'm getting used to the different terms. The schedule is also more laidback as compared to the system in Singapore, which gives me time and space to take a breather.
3. Bedtime stories has never been so interesting
Usually, if they get busy on weekdays with work and you are out exploring the grounds, the only time available is before bedtime or the weekends. This requires a pot of English tea, or two. A nice cafe setting maybe or a kitchen counter. TAKK cafe at Manchester serves the best cup of coffee. I've always felt so drawn in by listening to people's adventures, watching the video that they filmed on gopro, all the crazy stuffs that I would have never thought of. It's insane how much ideas and connection you can draw from these conversations. Have you heard of fright hopping or a professional hobo? Neither have I.
I was hosted by a web designer named Brave Dave in York, UK and he was extremely well-versed in adventurous stunts, his life is definitely blessed considering he has done countless of stunts that could possibly been deadly. Holy Shit. Check his blog and YouTube channel over here. Rendered me speechless the first time I watched it. Ever heard of freight-hopping? Thought that only existed in Hollywood movies. Guess not. OMG.
4. If you are not scrolling for miles on your phone, you are living in the moment
I am guilty for whipping out my phone too often (You guys probably are as well) and my hosts has often mentioned how obsessed I am with my phone. These days, if I'm striking up a conversation, I tend to be more conscious about tucking my phone aside or face down so that the notifications do not distract me. As much as I am in a commited relationship with my phone, I've realised that the best moments come about when I'm disconnected from my wifi/mobile data. I had a three-hour conversation with my host in York over beer, listening to his life stories, his experiences and just having a great time. Or being in a house that is filled with cheeky college students who might be waiting for their next opportunity presented to them to prank you.
Here's a tip. Talk about food. It's a sure-fire subtle way of having some home cook food whipped up onto your plate. xP
5. The housing condition are always a surprise
As turbulent and unpredictable as the weather in UK, I'm always looking forward to being acquainted with my make-shift bed for a night or two. Might be a camping bag, sleeping bag, couch, inflatable air mattress or otherwise. Surprise me.
Well, asking for more information before confirming your stay will be useful as well. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Be thankful to have a roof above your head, maybe breakfast with a majestic garden view in the morning if you are lucky or wine before you whine (ok, pun intended).
Always keep in mind that they are sharing their personal space with you, so don't ever abuse the privilege. Respect the house rules even if you don't agree with them. I've got to say that some apartments you stay in might not be splendid, (I mean I've slept on an inflatable air mattress with a pencil wedged into the hole where the air is leaking) but on the hindsight, the fact that I have a roof above my head and the warmest company for a night or two makes up for it.
6. On taking on first-timers (zero-references, unfinished profile, pictures that look dodgy)
All I got to say is that I once had a blank reference page as well. Start with a meet up, it's always a safer bet, probe on their interests to fill in the gaps that is not reflected on their profile so that there is lesser risks of miscommunication. If you are comfortable with one another, ask if an overnight couch is possible. Take the chance, it might be worth it. First timers are more sensitive to your wants and needs. Trust me, they are equally as nervous as you are about sharing their personal space. Besides, it's pretty easy to find them on Facebook or Instagram.
Be kind, do them a favour and write a stellar review (if you enjoyed their company) and vice versa. Definitely had one of the best times with this group of newbies, sweetest people I've ever met, and we are still checking in on each other's lives. #BFFs Tim J. Kerry (picture above) was a first timer as well and he was such great host and he started meeting up with more people from CS after his experience as well.
P.S I took a decent profile picture for him
7. Always have a contingency plan
I can't emphasize how important this is, having been bailed due to instances where hosts back out last minute. Shit happens...I've always made sure that I keep in constant contact with my host(s) just in case. And yes, in cases that you are not comfortable with someone alone, at least you know that there will be a Plan B.
There are alternatives besides CS too, Facebook groups that allows students to trade campus rooms for the weekends etc. Dig deeper into the realms of social media or Reddit, those channels are actually something that you might want to leverage on.
8. Enjoying your own company and being okay with the fact that you are alone
It's almost seem like a taboo to be heading somewhere foreign by yourself. I have no idea why do people make such a huge fuss about it sometimes. I see it as an opportunity to get to know myself better and I am actually more than okay going solo. It definitely has it's pros and cons, and being well aware of the risks helps. Be vigilant about your surroundings and ask for help, don't be shy to create conversations with random strangers. I met so many people and connections on the rail/bus/streets and I might have had one of the best times with them, they make my travel time so much more enjoyable. People also feel more comfortable opening up to you when you are alone. Travelling by yourself allows you to focus on yourself and doing the things that you want to do without feeling bad about it and be flexible about changes. It might be out of your comfort zone, and I still get a little scared everytime i travel solo. Put on a brave front anyway, be spontaneous but don't be naive. Trust yourself, alot. I've realised that I became more confident wth my choices after I started travelling by myself.
9. Goodbyes. Something that gets harder every single time
Having spent a significant amount of time with these people who have wholeheartedly invited me to live with them and be part of their life, even if it is just a couple of days, it always dawn on me that I have to part with them eventually. Every single one of them has been part of my journey and I've truly enjoyed spending time with them. I still keep in contact with many of them, but a part of me knows that we might not ever meet again. Which is why I've always request to take pictures with them, those are the only memories that I can look back in my photo gallery and rewind the moment.
10. But hey , let's face it, the struggle is real
Don't assume that it's always easy and straightforward to get a host. Constantly sending/ checking couch requests, creating public trips, checking for notifications, doing background checks and receiving weird messages. It gets tiring after a while and it's common to get rejected. Don't take it too personally, they are busy people as well. Deal with it. Frankly speaking, the reviews are highly dependent on social skills, so work it people. Just know that you can't please everyone, so if it doesn't work out well, it doesn't mean that it's entirely your fault. It's a two-way street, like all relationships.
Make the most out of the experience by asking more, staying present, and reciprocate their effort. It's really not much to ask for. *** BONUS TIP: In your request, use this “make it about them, offer value” approach, you WILL be a more successful human. I promise. In a nutshell, be very interested in what they do. People love talking about themselves ***
Here are some of the reviews that I have received so far. 32 and counting.
Xx,
Lyrenna
